So, I totally had a cow.
Maybe you’ve never had a cow, but I doubt it. So since we’ve all had cows, we may as well talk about it a little. Or a lot.
This particular cow was a right of passage for one of my children, but an anxiety-filled nightmare for me. A real chew-my-nails-but-act-cool-about-it cow. Everybody else was chill, but not me. My mind was filled with things I knew to be ridiculous, but remotely possible, so everything inside me was exploding with my racy mind. All the reactors were reacting, full force. Yet, I told myself, I’m a grown woman, able and apt, capable of championing this moment. I decided to take some kind of restorative action to counteract my internal cow.
Painting would be my respite. But what to paint? I’ve been painting, but wasn’t really in a good head space for a pastoral watercolor or a slow-drying oil. So maybe it is no wonder, I chose a quick, acrylic…cow: wild, crazy and out of control. I painted what I was feeling, without even knowing it really. Thankful to the Art Sherpa for her online class, I knew this would help my unnerved state. And it did.
What I didn’t know was that I was still not over it until my good friend texted me with a video of her day. When I responded, I word vomited all over her. Bless her heart, she still replied to me. I was SO THANKFUL for her replies.
She did not tell me I was being silly. I knew that already anyway.
She did not tell me to get over it. I knew I had to get through it.
She did not tell me anything, really. I didn’t need telling.
I needed hearing, and she heard me well.
She allowed me to share, asked good questions, and stayed with me, texting back and forth, until it was over. She even made a joke or two. I was ever so grateful. Still am.
Grateful: right there in the middle of having my cow, people showed up. Not just any people, mind you, but really the exact people I needed right then in that moment. The Art Sherpa, someone I’ve never met, who met me in my moment with a crazy cow how-to. Right alongside her, I was met by someone who knows me by heart, and is in most of my moments. She stuck with me. Two women I was ever so grateful landed in my crazy day.
I hope my next cow moment allows me opportunities to be grateful, even in the cow-ness of it all. And for you too in your have-a-cow-days. May it be so.
Why this post, now? I figured it might be a good start for a blog about coaching, companioning and consulting. I get it.
I get it, from so many of my own experiences, but also from stories and relationships, and am in a space and time that I can offer to hear others well, to ask good questions, and to stay there until it is over, all the while looking for hope, gratefulness, and maybe even a little humor.
So, let’s have a cow…together.
(Oh, my child was just fine.)
Because You Matter 